Red Letter Errors
by love'remi
Summary: Going undercover leaves Lisbon and Jane in a, uh, bonded situation, especially after Lisbon ignores a file on her desk that leaves them with a serious predicament on their hands. Totally Jisbon, with some Rigspelt and, of course, Cho.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So I'm new around here, but I love writing so I figured I would give it a shot ****J**

**I recently stumbled upon "The Mentalist" and I fell in l-o-v-e with the show and its characters. They're the right amount of silly and sassy and serious and my god! Is Simon baker gorgeous…. Omg. He's like a total eye-gasm in one guy. Yum.**

**ANYWAYS. So this little number right here popped in my head one day and refused to leave until I typed it. Basic summary?**

"**Going undercover leaves Lisbon and Jane in a, uh, **_**bonded **_**situation, especially after Lisbon ignores a file on her desk that leaves them with a serious predicament on their hands."**

**We'll start out after the undercover case in this first chapter, then jump back to right before they went undercover and work forward from there. **

**Its definitely a T story; I have a potty mouth ;)**

**k, so without further ado, here we go!**

**-Remi**

**disclaimer-i don't own anything you recognize :0)**

**Xxxxxxxxxx**

"Lisbon, can I see you in my office, please?" Madeline Hightower's voice came from the phone on Teresa Lisbon's desk, a small green light flashing by the words LINE ONE.

"Yes ma'am. Do we have a case?" Lisbon grabbed her coffee mug as she put the pen she had been mouthing back in it's container.

"Nope; I just want to tie up some _loose ends _from the Mazatti Case." Hightower's voice sounded suspiciously skeptical, and Lisbon raised her eyebrow.

"The one where Jane and I went undercover a few months ago?" Hightower made an affirmative noise.

"Well, alright." Lisbon had a sudden nervous feeling in her gut, and she didn't know why. "I'll be down in two minutes."

With that, Lisbon hung up her phone, and made her way downstairs, coffee cup in hand.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxx**

It had been a relatively stressful week.

Jane had managed to get himself 32 - _yes that is thirty-fricking-two_- formal complaints during the case this week. Who knew that insulting a room-full of scientists' intelligence could get you so many complaints? Oh, yeah. _Jane._

Lisbon had been furious with him, and suspended him from talking to any more people from the laboratory, which, of course, he had ignored. _Shocker._

But, he found the missing link in a bottle of some dangerous chemical that Lisbon could barely pronounce, and he had solved the case almost single-handedly.

As per usual.

"See, Lisbon? There is a reason I don't listen when you suspend me."

She could have punched him in the nose. Again.

But, instead, she settled for a no-nonsense death glare and a storming into her office.

He had chuckled.

Damn him.

But, as Lisbon walked into Hightower's office that fateful day, she could not blame Jane for what might be the worst paperwork error ever committed in the history of paperwork errors.

Although Jane _was_ the reason the damned file had been put on the back burner, Lisbon could only blame herself for what had to be the biggest blunder of her professional and personal life.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Lisbon, please come in." Hightower said as the emerald-eyed Agent peeked her head through the door.

"You wanted to talk about the Mazatti Case?" Lisbon asked as she sipped her coffee.

"Yes, I would like to ask you exactly _why_ you haven't finished the paperwork for the undercover assignment." Hightower had a very condescending tone, and it made Lisbon very nervous. Lisbon cocked her head.

"I finished the case report, and had all of the paperwork for putting Jose Mazatti in jail finished on time. I even had Jane's and my names legally returned. The case paperwork is complete." Lisbon took another big swig of her coffee as Hightower began to speak.

"Are you in a relationship with your consultant?"

Lisbon choked on her coffee. Some of it went up her nose.

Through coughs, she managed to sputter out the word "WHAT? No!"

"Then why, exactly, are you still _married_ to Patrick Jane, after three months off of the case?"

"What do you mean _still married_?" Lisbon was trying desperately to control her coughs, even though there was still coffee in her nose. Dread filled her stomach.

"I was going through your team's files today to check up on paperwork status, and I happened to notice that you had signed off on all of the paperwork on that case, except for the annulment of your undercover marriage to Jane."

Teresa Lisbon went ghost white. Of all the things she could have possibly forgotten to fill out, she just _had_ to forget her _annulment papers_. And that meant…

"Lisbon, you know that if you and Jane are in a romantic relationship, CBI rules will force me to split your team up. And I seriously do not want to do that because.."

"We're not in any type of relationship outside of a professional one. Never have been." Lisbon purposefully decided to leave out.. Well, we'll get to that later. "I completely accept responsibility to a very serious paper work error. I know how extremely suspicious this looks.."

"No Agent, I don't believe you do"

"Oh, no, trust me, I do. We are _not_ in a relationship, by any means, I swear. I will get this mess cleaned up as soon as possible." Lisbon then turned and darted out of the office.

She headed straight for a leather couch with a certain blonde-haired consultant on it.

**Xxxxxxxxxx**

Lisbon kicked 'Jane's couch' furiously. Twice.

"Jane! Get your ass up!" He groaned. "Now, damn it!" She let out a frustrated sound.

"You know, my dear Lisbon, that waking an insomniac up during their first good sleep in ages is awfully rude." Jane sat up groggily and absentmindedly picked the sleep out of his eyes.

"I don't give a damn." She then dropped the menacing tone and sighed.

"Jane, we have a big problem." Lisbon sat down on the couch next to him, almost defeatedly.

Jane looked at Lisbon. She looked frustrated.

"Listen, Lisbon, I truly am sorry for the ruckus I caused this past week. I don't regret it, but if you want to suspend me.."

"NO!" Lisbon said a little too sharply. Jane furrowed his brow at her.

"Then what is it, Teresa?" His blue eyes sparkled with concern. They shined almost brightly as they did…

Lisbon mentally shook herself and swallowed.

"Jane," Lisbon shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "We're married."

Jane raised an eyebrow. What the hell was she talking about? They were… _what_?

"I'm sorry, Lisbon, I don't follow." She put her head in her hands. What had she gotten herself into? She looked at the floor as she explained.

"After the Mazatti case, I forgot to fill out the annulment papers from when we were 'Mr. and Mrs. Sutton'. The annulment papers expired two months ago, meaning that, by California state law, we're married and have been for five months. We're legally bonded together, and we have to get a full divorce, especially since we.." she blushed and coughed, "especially since we, um, _consummated _the marriage. It will take a few months to get this all straightened out. I am so sorry." She had said the last three sentences barely louder than a whisper.

Jane's eyes became saucers. His first 'marriage' since his wife died and he was getting 'divorced'. Granted, he didn't know he had been married for half of it, and the other half was purely pretend (somewhat), but it was still a little bit sad. He had been hoping for forever the second time, with Red John out of the way. _And especially because it was his dear little Lisbon.._

Okay, so he was hoping to be married to Lisbon because of love, not because of some damned undercover assignment and a careless paperwork error. He had imagined romantic dates, and kisses goodnight with more to follow and a sparkly ring on her left hand after a private profession of love that had been announced while one of his knees dug into the white sand of a moonlit beach. The same beach that currently held his most sacred memory of his favorite Special Agent.

This situation was not how he had imagined his love affair with Teresa Lisbon to be.

"Alright then." Lisbon said as she stood up. "I'm going to go fix this."

She then walked away briskly, leaving a stunned Jane still sitting on 'his' couch.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lisbon shut her office door behind her rather forcefully.

Her back against the cool glass, she closed her eyes and used her right hand to lock her door.

She walked to her desk and began rummaging through the _-no lie_- foot tall stack of manila folders.

She found the one she was looking for , all the way at the bottom of the stack. She gasped as she felt tears come to her eyes unexpectedly.

Clutching the folder to her chest and trying to hold back tears, she ran over to the couch and flopped down unceremoniously.

Softly crying, she buried her head in her pillows on the couch.

"Fuck my life."

Lisbon began to think of the day five months ago that started this catastrophe.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**SO.**

**Jisbon? Married? **_**Consummation**_**? Whuuuut?**

**And why is Lisbon crying?**

**Oh, my lovlies, you will see.**

**Yes, the team will make an appearance; I love Cho and Rigspelt WAY too much not to.**

**Buckle up, it is going to be a wild ride :D Stay tuned to see how this mess began**

**Hope you liked it! I liked writing it. Please leave me a review and tell me how I'm doing, because I have no clue whether or not you guys liked it…**

**Good day!**

**-Remi**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again!**

**WOWZA. I'm thrilled with all of the positive feedback I have been getting on this story!**

**Between story alerts and reviews, I'm really excited and happy!**

**So, here we go again!**

**Disclaimer: You recognize it, I don't own it. Yet. Will update you as soon as that status changes**

**-Remi**

**Xxxxxxxxxx**

_**Five Months Ago…**_

Lisbon's head snapped up from her desk as her consultant barged in.

"Lisbon, it is noon, wake up, my dear! No time for sleeping, we have a case!" He grinned. He looked like a little boy on Christmas morning. If Lisbon wasn't such a hard-ass, she might have called him cute.

"Jane, you are way too happy that someone has died." Lisbon scolded, but Jane knew she didn't mean it. He toned down the 'Christmas' look just a tad.

"No, no. I am just excited to get back out there. My lovely couch has seen way too much of me since we haven't had a case in awhile. Now, c'mon, Hightower wants to talk to us." And the Christmas look was back.

"Both of us?" Lisbon raised an eyebrow. That was strange.

"Yes! Now quit stalling, let's go!"

**Xxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Lisbon, Jane, enter." Hightower ushered them in and made her way back to her desk.

Lisbon and her blonde -haired consultant entered, Lisbon walking and Jane bouncing like he was on a sugar rush.

Lisbon really needed to switch his tea to decaf. Pronto.

"I wanted to talk to you about the newest case available to Special Crimes Unit. There was a murder in an elite neighborhood, and we need you two to help us catch the killer." The fact that Hightower had said 'two' should have tipped Lisbon off, but she hadn't noticed.

"We are about 97% sure that the killer is still in the neighborhood. Nobody has moved, and it was definitely not a random homicide. Now the problem we have is nobody will talk. Sure, they have all been interrogated, and we are almost positive one of them did it, but nobody's fessing up nor will they claim to know anything. And we need some fresh eyes on the case. That's where you come in."

"You want us to interrogate them? If they haven't said anything before, why would they now?" Lisbon inquired confused. A smile began to spread across Jane's face. He was starting to figure it out, and boy-oh-boy was this so much more exciting than a regular case.

"Because you will not be Special Agent Teresa Lisbon and Consultant Patrick Jane. You two will be going undercover."

Jane literally was bouncing on his toes now; he was_ thrilled._

Lisbon's jaw dropped. This was certainly not what she was expecting. And she wasn't particularly excited.

"What is our cover? And how long will this take?" Lisbon asked.

"You two will be a married couple by the names of Tessa and Paul Sutton. Lisbon you will be a stay-at-home wife, and Jane, you are the CEO of a successful online business and you work from home. Your "jobs" allow you to be in the house at all times, whenever you are not conversing with your neighbors, and you will be surveilling the neighborhood by cameras we had set up. You will also have contact with your team, and me, to discuss the case. This mission should take not longer than three months, which will be just long enough to get your paperwork undone without much hassle. All clear?"

"Yes, but, why Jane and I? Rigsby and Van Pelt could have done it just as well, and I really don't want to leave my team without a leader…" _And I really do not want to be stuck living with Jane for three months._

"I couldn't morally make Van Pelt go undercover as being married, with what happened with O'Laughlin, and especially not with Rigsby because of their history. And I am placing Cho in charge, he is more than capable of holding down the fort, in my opinion. Now, I just need you to sign these papers and we should be almost good to go. You leave this afternoon." Hightower handed them both a short stack of papers.

"What are these?" Lisbon asked as she initialed once.

"Your name changing papers and your marriage license."

"_Our what?"_ Lisbon almost dropped the stack of papers.

"You two are going deep undercover. Rich people are suspicious, we have to be careful and make sure that there is nothing to tie you to your original lives. And that means making sure your names and marriage are legal. That's one of the reasons why this case is time-sensitive. You can get your names changed back and your marriage annulled without any hassle in 90 days. Longer than that and you have to get lawyers involved."

Lisbon pouted as she finished signing away her life. Jane was already finished and beaming.

Lisbon finished signing and handed the clipboard back to Hightower. She turned to leave.

"Lisbon, wait! I almost forgot.." Hightower rummaged through her desk. "Here."

She pulled out a robin's egg blue Tiffany box and held it out in front of her. Lisbon gasped.

"Go ahead and put this on, so you don't forget it when you go to pack."

Lisbon reached for the box, but Jane grabbed it instead, smiling.

"Here, let me." He untied the bow and opened the box. Inside were the most _absolutely gorgeous_ rings Lisbon had ever seen. A single stone on a platinum band and another platinum band _Damn._

Jane lifted the ring out of the box and grabbed Lisbon's left hand. He carefully placed the plain one on first, followed by the one with the diamond. Lisbon's cheeks had turned scarlet very quickly, the symbolism behind the moment not lost on her. Hightower looked on smugly.

"Jane's ring from his marriage will suffice for this mission. Now, go home and pack. Be back by three."

Hightower dismissed them with a flick of the hand as she turned to write something down.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lisbon's cheeks were still flaming as she walked back into the bullpen.

Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt were clacking away at their keyboards. A half-eaten sandwich graced Rigsby's desk.

Jane quickly shuffled up behind her and grabbed her left hand. Before she could react, speak, or even blink, he shouted across the room:

"SHE SAID YES EVERYBODY!" The light glittered off of the diamond on her left hand. Lisbon's face went an impossible shade of red as she snatched her hand away from him, hiding it behind her back.

The team looked onward with bug-eyes. Van Pelt's jaw was dropped and was slowing turning into a big smile. All was silent until Cho spoke.

"Pay up. 50$, each of you." He aimed towards Van Pelt and Rigsby, nonchalantly.

"Damn.." Said Rigsby as he reached for his wallet.

Lisbon had forgotton to speak until then.

"We're going undercover as a married couple. Not actually getting married, I swear."

"Phew!" said Rigsby as he put his wallet away. Cho actually looked disappointed.

"Really guys, betting?" Jane said, then he grinned wickedly as he pulled his wallet out.

"Hundred bucks says something will happen in the next three months."

And Lisbon's cheeks became red again.

"Damn it, Jane!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**SO. Was this chapter as good as the first? I tried to put in some Jisbon, they're toooooo cute :0)**

**Please review, they mean a lot to me!**

**We get to go undercover next chapter. WOOP WOOP.**

**Much love, Remi.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Privyat! (That's Russian (in English spelling) for hey, if you didn't know that already..)**_

_**So, anyways, this chapter is a wee bit longer than the others, simply because I wanted to pack a whole bunch of stuff into the chapter: the packing, the car ride (6 hours with Jane, "yippee!", says Lisbon, sarcastically…) and meeting the neighbors.**_

_**I map quested the length of time it takes to get from Sacramento to LA and the time is approximately 5 hours and 55 minutes down I-5 or something like that…. Just in case you were curious. But you probably weren't, so that was sort of pointless, but whatever… **_

_**Us writers are a liiiiiitle bit crazy, if you haven't noticed already, but I suppose that's where the good stories come from. I'll just keep telling myself that, regardless of whether or not that's actually true…**_

_**;)**_

_**I don't live in Cali, or anywhere near, so please don't quote me on any Cali facts. If anything, blame Google. Or my imagination :0)**_

_**But you can correct me… I do like to have everything straight!**_

_**Disclaimer: Nah, sorry, nothing. Damn.**_

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing and alerting and such. It makes me smile (:**_

_**Kbye!**_

_**-Remi**_

_**Xxxxxxxxxx**_

_Lisbon walked into her apartment, the AC hitting her face, a big, welcome change from Sacramento's smothering May heat waves. She kicked off her loafers and set her keys on a ledge before she began to pack._

_Rummaging through a hallway closet to find as many suitcases as she could find, Lisbon began to slowly realize that she was about to leave for three months._ Three months was a long time to be away from home and married to somebody. Yes, it was still work, and yes she knew she had to do this, but the more she thought about it, the more she wanted out of this mission.

Lisbon was going to be way out of her comfort zone. It wasn't just Jane she was worried about; she could easily keep him under control at home, after all, she _was_ the one with the gun… However, she had never had any practice with living the high-life. And, no, one night with millionaire Mashburn did not count. Lisbon had never lived among little dogs, diamonds and Juicy Couture track suits. The most expensive piece Lisbon currently had in her possession was the $6000 engagement ring on her left hand, and it wasn't even hers. It was 'Tessa Sutton's'. She was clueless as to how she should act and speak and walk. Hard-as-nails, pocket-rocket, heavily-armed agent Lisbon was actually nervous about talking with the housewives of Newport Cove. Which brought her back to another problem.

Lisbon had not a _clue_ as to how to be a stay-at-home wife. Ever since she was 15 and three-quarters, Teresa Lisbon has had a job. A real, work-hard-make-money _job_. And she has always been very proud of the fact that she is independent and can stand on her own two feet. She must now stay home all day, with _Jane_, none the less, and entertain house guests and gossip with snooty women, and… oh boy. Lisbon had not a clue as to how to throw a proper dinner party. _Google shall be my holy grail these next three months…_

Thinking back, Lisbon could not remember the last time she made, actually cooked a three-course meal. Or a one-course meal, for that matter. _I hope the men and women of Newport Cove like Chinese takeout…_

This was going to be an interesting three months.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Jane wasn't so nervous. When he was at the top of his "psychic" career, he had made himself a very nice, padded living.

He had to dig through a mess of three-piece suits (some of which he packed) to find his old Lacoste polos and Ralph Lauren khakis, ones that had not seen daylight in a very long time.

Thinking about daylight, Jane cringed to see how white he was going to be after being hidden under suits for so long. Nothing a few days on the golf course wouldn't fix. On that thought, he reminded himself to pack his and Angela's old golf clubs; he was going to have to teach Lisbon to help her fit in.

_Poor Lisbon,_ Jane thought, pondering over the fact that she was going to be a house wife, and a _wealthy _house wife, for the first time. _She must be dreading the thought of living with me,_ he thought. He knew she had lived alone since she moved out of her father's house; he knew she was too independent to ever have had a roommate or a live-in boyfriend. This would be a whole new experience for her.

_I guess I will have to show her the ropes._

For whatever reason, this made him even more excited to go undercover.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"I really do not see why we have to take your Citroen. My car would have drove just as well, plus, it has more room!" Lisbon gestured to the bags by her feet, kicking them so she could stretch her cramped legs.

"A rich couple in Newport Cove that drives a Toyota? Please. Really, Lisbon, we'd better be as believable as possible. And, plus, those bags fit! Your legs are…"

"_Jane, _I swear to God, if you make one more comment about how short my legs are, I swear…"

"You'll _what, _Lisbon? Kick my shins?" Jane knew it was a -ahem- _low _blow, but he couldn't help himself.

"You are damn lucky you are driving right now, mister…" She shot him a signature death glare and pouted.

_Five more hours…._

_**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

Lisbon was driving now. She had decided that his time for driving was up when they got pulled over for driving 95 on the highway.

"_I'm not paying that ticket, Lisbon! Besides,_ _there was no one else on the road.."_

"_Yeah, besides the cop…."_

And now he had managed to find his iPod and was looking for the "perfect" song to play.

"A-ha! I've got it!" He plugged in his converter device and switched on the radio. A rumbling noise that sounded like a mix between a high school football game and a latina club started playing through the speakers.

Lisbon immediately knew what it was. She _loved _this song; she dances around barefoot to it while cleaning frequently. She hummed as it began to play.

_When you're feeling sad and low_

_We will take you where you gotta go_

_Smiling, dancing, everything is free_

_All you need is positivity…_

How the hell could he have known she loved the Spice Girls? He began to sing/yell:

"Colors of the world!" And he gestured to her.

Unable to help herself, and totally caught up in the song she yelled back, totally off-key:

"Spice up your life!" And then she blushed.

_Four more hours…_

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Eighty-seven bottles of beer on the wall…"

"JANE! SHUT UP!" Any more bottles of beer on the wall, and Lisbon was going hurl something. Jane chuckled and sang louder.

"_Eighty-seven bottles of beer!"_ He was bored, and had decided to simply annoy Lisbon. "Oh, c'mon Lisbon, it's a classic car ride tune. Sing along, it s fun! _Take one d-"_

"Jane, if you 'pass anymore bottles of beer around', I will shoot you the next time you get out of this car."

Now, normally, Jane wouldn't have been scared by her threats, but the way she had said that so calmly, so unemotional, well, it frightened him a little bit.

"Why not shoot me now?"

"Because A: its hard to shoot and still drive properly. And B: I really do not want to clean blood off the seats right now." Totally monotone. Like she was reading a recipe.

He gulped and shut his mouth. He suddenly had the urge to take a nice, long somewhat-nap.

_Three more hours…_

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Jane and Lisbon pulled up to their new house at about 10:30 p.m.

Although, 'house' probably wasn't the proper word.

How the CBI had managed to get such a large and beautiful home _right on the beach_ would always baffle Lisbon. Even Jane appreciated the house's beach-side, _I'm -a-show-off-house-and-I-know it _beauty. It stood tall against the night sky. Two stories high, you could see the palm trees swaying in the night behind it. The white-sand beach and the ocean cast a soft glow on the strong features of the brick and vinyl house. Lisbon was suddenly very thankful she had remembered to pack a few swimsuits.

Walking up the stairs towards the front door, Lisbon pulled the house's key out of her blazer pocket. Neither her or Jane had bothered to change before they left for the nearly 6-hour car ride. As she reached the door, she noticed a stationary envelope taped to the front door. The words _"To the newest residents of Cherry Lane" _was scrawled across the front in beautiful cursive. Lisbon decided she would walk inside before she opened the letter.

Jane let out a small whistle before he fully stepped inside. The beautiful cherry wood reflected the moonlight. There was a winding stair case to the left and a open dining room right in front of them with a -_holy shit- _52 inch (at least) plasma television. A granite and stainless steel kitchen could be seen from the dining room.

Lisbon had no idea that living big would be so…. _big._

Jane thought the couch looked extra comfy.

CBI's finest had no clue what was coming for them.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Boom. So there's chapter three. They're settling in, and we get to read the letter and meet some neighbors in the next chapter. And so begins the real undercover work!**

**Have a fan-freaking-tastic day.**

**Please drop me a review. If you loved it, hated it, or thought it was 'meh', do tell me! Also feel free to leave suggestions…. I may use them. I have a plot line set out, but some areas are a little grey..**

**Much love,**

**-Remi**

**P.S: Who has two thumbs and is super excited about the Mentalist's season premiere next week? THIS GIRL.**

**How about you?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Red Letter Errors- chapter four**

**A/N: hey everybody! SO its been a hellish few weeks and I have not been able to write at ALL. Its been so stressful in my neck of the woods, like, **_**damn.**_** Anyhow, just know that my updates are probably not going to be structured and by schedule, they'll be fairly sporadic. SO, with out further delay…. Here we go **

**Keep on rocking. I'm so happy that you are enjoying this.**

**`Remi**

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Lisbon hated unpacking even more than she hated packing. Hours upon hours were spent shoving everything neatly into a small area just so it could be unceremoniously thrown out all over the room, giving hours upon hours of even more work. Tedious chores had always irked Lisbon.

But even after the three hours she had spent meticulously putting everything away, Lisbon still was not tired. She looked at the letter they had found taped to the front door.

_To the Newest Residents of Cherry Lane…_

"Jane? Are you still up?" Lisbon yelled down the stairwell, knowing the answer. It may be 1:30 in the morning but that man never sleeps.

"Yeah, are you all right?" He came to the bottom of the stairs to see her standing on the small balcony at the top of the stairs. She waved the note above her head. He made an affirmative noise and trotted up the stairs.

"They even practice calligraphy here in Newport Cove, Lisbon!" He said snatching the note and tearing it open.

"Yes, fancy handwriting is just _so_ impressive" she snipped. So she _was_ a little bit tired…

The note held the same beautiful script on the inside. Red ribbon detailing around the edge made the note look more like a wedding invitation than a "welcome to the neighborhood" card.

_Welcome to our street!_

_In your honor we will be hosting a barbeque to introduce ourselves to you and to help you feel at home._

_Please join us at 751 Cherry Lane between the hours of 5 and 11 for food and drinks._

_Dress as you please._

_We look forward to meeting you!_

_-The Residents of Cherry Lane_

Jane took a second to analyze the note in a way that only Jane could.

_To introduce ourselves and make you feel at home…. _Read: show you our statuses and see where you fit in around here.

_Food and Drinks…. _Read: Finger foods and vodka.

_Dress as you please…_ Read: Dress to impress.

_Yikes_. Jane looked over at Lisbon, who was analyzing the note herself.

This would be interesting.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Nuh-uh, Lisbon. Change, now." Jane attempted to shoo her out of the room, but the woman did not budge.

"Why? What's wrong with what I have on?" In all honesty, Lisbon looked beautiful to Jane. Had it been any other occasion, he would have been making googly eyes at her. But this was their first day on Cherry Lane, and her outfit would not pass. She wore a pretty green top and dark boot cut jeans, with small hoop earrings.

"Because Lisbon, you're not fitting the dress code." she looked at him in disbelief.

"It says, and I quote _"Dress as you please"._ And this is me, dressing as I please. Is the outfit hideous and I just don't see it, or something?" She crossed her arms.

"No. You look beautiful." She blushed. "But 'Dress as you please' is rich people speak for 'dress to impress'. Here, show me your closet."

He bustled past her towards what he presumed to be her closet and opened the door. He rummaged through the array of clothes in front of him, paying special attention to the dresses.

"A-ha! Got it," He pulled out a dress. Lisbon had forgotten she had even bought it, much less packed it..

It was a black shirtdress, and if Lisbon remembered correctly, made her look extra-curvy. And that was welcome on her teensy frame.

"Wear those emeralds I bought you. Yeah, yeah, it'll look a little gaudy, but real emeralds will make a great impression on the neighbors."

Lisbon laughed a little bit.

"Patrick Jane: Expert Stylist. That's awfully metrosexual of you, Jane."

"Hey, play nice, I'm saving your reputation before you have a chance to have one."

Lisbon scoffed and snatched the dress.

"I'll be right back."

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

How Jane had talked her into wearing four-inch stilettos, Lisbon would never know.

_They match the necklace. Its beautiful._

Oh, yeah. That's how.

"C'mon, Lisbon, we're gunna be late!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Lisbon worked with criminals for a living. Murderous, evil bastards. Some were even _proud _to be criminals.

So, why exactly was she so afraid of a bunch of snobby housewives?

_Because you know one of them is the killer._

But whoever said is was a woman killer? It could as easily be a man..

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"_Tessa_, have I told you how absolutely stunning you look this evening?" Jane whispered in Lisbon's ear, causing a blush to rise in her traitorous cheeks.

"You look pretty damn good yourself, _Paul._" Well, at least Lisbon wouldn't be the only one blushing. Jane and Lisbon had began to get in the habit of calling each other by their undercover aliases to prevent any accidental slip ups.

The "happy couple" walked up to a set of beautiful mahogany and glass doors. Jane reached across Lisbon to ring the door bell, brushing her chest in the process. The pretty flush was back.

"Sorry, dear." Jane said quietly.

A tall and beautiful woman with light brown hair opened the door. Jane spoke up.

"Hello, Miss…."

"Kate. Kate Petzold."

"Kate, hi." Jane smiled and shook her dainty, well-manicured hand, "We're the Suttons. We just moved in down the street…?"

"Ah! Welcome to the neighborhood! As I told you, my name is Kate. I live here, with my husband Alex. We are so happy that you decided to join us. I don't believe I caught your names…." Lisbon spoke this time.

"I'm Tessa, Tessa Sutton, and this is my husband Paul. We just moved here from Sacramento." Half truths always work well.

"Tessa, Paul come on in, we're honored that you are here. Feel free to mingle and if you need me, I will be around." Kate smiled and winked one beautiful brown eye that was barely visible from under her light fringe.

Jane and Lisbon uttered a small thanks.

"Oh, and Tessa? I absolutely love your necklace. Emeralds are so underrated these days." And with one last dazzling smile, Kate was off to greet some other people, ever the fabulous hostess.

"Told you the emeralds would be impressive" Jane said with a wink.

"Oh, shut up."

The place was packed with what must have been at least 100 of the most beautiful people Lisbon had ever seen. Lisbon felt Jane grab her hand and looked over just in time to see him plaster a charming smile on his face.

_Show time._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**And now the case work has begun. I felt like this story is moving at a very slow pace, but it should speed up now.**

**You've met the first housewife, Kate. I am basing her on someone that I know, and because this character is personal, she'll play a humongous role in this story **

_**Wink, wink, hint, hint **_**;)**

**Hahaha.**

**Well, please tell me if ya like it **

**And if you think this story is moving at a snails pace… Or not?**

**Kbyeeee**

**-Remi**


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